The struggle to lose weight after your second child is no joke. There are many reasons for this. You now care for 2 children, instead of 1. Time management becomes challenging with more people. Your body worked super hard to create another human and needs time to recover. You aren’t sleeping. You are not in your 20s anymore. Getting older means you need to work out differently to get in shape. Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, you are beyond tired.

There was an embarrassment I experienced walking back into the gym after my second child. I was no longer the cute pregnant woman with a sweet baby bump. Instead, I was the woman with a pooch who could barely lift her legs to flutter kick. I couldn’t complete a squat without peeing myself and tearing apart my stomach and my pelvic floor was in desperate need of repair. Did I mention leaking? I wore breast pads to catch the milk squirting out me…literally squirting. Insecurity and discomfort consumed me. My body was not the way I remembered it and I could no longer lift weights.

So what did I do?

1) I got brave. I smiled at everyone and told them, “I just had a baby.” Lame, I know, but I needed a village of people telling me I was doing great.

2) I created a workout schedule to focus on building the habit and routine. I put workouts on my calendar and communicated the schedule to my husband. There was no ambiguity.

3) I removed my excuses. I found workout videos on YouTube and eventually paid for a workout app (peloton). As my daughter got older, I found a gym with childcare.

4) I set-up visual cues throughout my house. I wore workout clothes EVERY SINGLE DAY. My running shoes were by the front door. My jogging stroller was in my driveway. I even kept 5lb dumbbells in the kitchen.

5) I took big mommy breaths to push away my self consciousness and used affirmations. I chanted these to myself while working out.

Example 1: In 3 months, this will be easier.

Example 2: I will reach my fitness goals.

Example 3: I am setting important health and fitness examples for my children.

Example 4: I am strong.

6) I was realistic with myself. I didn’t overdo it. I didn’t attempt to regain lost time. I didn’t aim for immediate results. Instead, I started running 1 mile and did body weight exercises until my stomach regained strength.

Yep, this shit doesn’t happen overnight. Goal setting and commitment require significant effort. And no, you won’t immediately see physical results, but eventually, change will happen and you will get stronger. It will get easier.

Never start with a big enormous, too much for you to handle hulk step. Always start small. Be practical. If you start out with the heaviest weights you can carry, your body will definitely not appreciate it and you will stop. Your body will hurt and you will compromise your form. Think about that fad diet you tried or the hour workout you had after 6 months of inactivity. How did that go? Probably not very well. Let’s agree, we will start small. Say it out loud, “I*will*start*small.” Irritating, I know. Get all your frustration out, so we can begin.

1) Schedule your workouts every week. Put it on your calendar. Choose realistic placeholder dates and times, then stay consistent. If someone tries to schedule a meeting over your workout, decline. Set boundaries. Do not flake on yourself. Start with 2 days a week, then 3 days a week…

2) Remove your excuses. I hear it often. You have financial considerations, children, no time. Let’s discuss each one.

a) Walking/running is free. Buy a pair of dumbbells and use YouTube videos. Don’t eat out every day or buy coffee in the afternoon. Cut out an expense, so you can afford a workout app. I think the peloton app is $12.99 a month.

b) Depending on your child’s age, here are some options. Workout while the baby is in the swing, high chair, activity table or pack-in-play. Set up an art station to keep toddlers occupied or put on a movie. Always communicate with older children. My girls know my boundaries during workouts.

c) Restructure your time. I used to run during lunch and returned to work without a shower. A lot of deodorant was involved. I went for walks during meetings and put my daughter in her swing when using my workout app. Focus on creating solutions.

3) Start small with 10 minute body weight exercises before lunch and a 10-minute walk after dinner. Adjust based on your schedule and level. Increase from your baseline. For example, start with a 10 second plank with 6 body weight squats. In 3 months, increase to a 30 second plank with 12 body weight squats. Incremental changes eventually lead to significant results later. Think of the butterfly effect. In 12 months, you will be happier with yourself and your new workout habit will be on fire.

4) Get focused. Write how you will feel in 3 months, 6 months and a year if you start this new habit. Visualize it. Then write how you will feel in 3 months, 6 months and a year if you don’t start the new habit. I tell myself, “if I don’t start now, I will be in the same situation with absolutely zero results in 3 months.” I would rather have some results than none. What about you?

Change is overwhelming because the unknown is uncomfortable. Unfortunately, immediate results don’t exist. Big change doesn’t work that way. I am an impatient person, but I know all good things take time. Always prioritize your health and wellness. Don’t contemplate it. Get started. Right now.